I 2 I (Twisted Tales of Sonic the Hedgehog)
by eprower2002
Summary: i had a dream and now im typing it
1. Chatper 1: Something Bad Happens

_There was this one story I dreamt up while I was asleep yesterday. (11-27-16)_

Ya wanna hear it?

OK, here goes:

Helscome the planet Mobius, home of the Big Mac.

it is here sonic the hedgehog is having fun with his friends.  
Tails says, "Hey Sonic! Wanna see my uber-skateboarding tricks?!"  
Sonic goes, "Lay it on, mi amigo!" So he does, but 3/4 of the way through, **ZAP!**  
TAILS TURNED INTO A WHOPPER! Sonic's like, "WHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?" and Knuckles is also like, "WHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAA?" and Knuckles was a Burger King product too, probably some form of french fries.

Sonic goes all panicky and whatnot, and end up running into Julie Powers, from Scott Pilgrim, who wasn't affected. Probably because the laser-thing missed her.  
Sonic Sez: "Uh, who are you, and why are you **NOT** affected?"

One amusing slap in the face later...

Sonic has decided to find out who the heck did such a weirdy thing! But, order to utilize HYPER-SONIC speed, he makes a nice lil' chilidog, with  
FUKIN' **ENERGIZER BATTERIES INSIDE THE CHILI.**

"Nothin' like Energizers to keep you going and going!" said Sawneek. and ate the chilidog. He grabbed the girl by the hands and then he ZOOOSH!...'D.

yeah, i'm not good at this

Sonic, being the laidback, trickster he was, didn't realize he was dragging Julie through the ground, leaving her looking like one of those incidents where you were trampled by a loada' buffalo, and when he noticed, she was NOT amused.  
"Alright, I'll get you some new threads..." said Sonic.  
"You better pay for them, too, dork." said Julie

So Sonic had to get her new clothes, and walked ssslllooowwwlllyy to Macy's.  
"No." "No." "Nuh-uh." "AH-HA!" Sonic had found the perfect shirt + skirt.  
"A purple shirt and a yellow skirt with stuff on them! That'll be worth somethin!"  
Julie then told Sonic: "Why's that?" and Sonic answered...  
"I don't give a fu-"

So Sonic bought the clothes, put them on, and went out.

Sonic decided to use his speed more carefully, as he jogged across the street.

Sonic was halfway outta town, when he suddenly ran across two familiar faces.  
Yep, that just ran into Milo and Nicky.

Betcha didn't see that comin' huh?

Did you?

HUH-

to be cont. on next page


	2. Charper 2: Hey Sonic, Nice Duds

**LAST TIME ON SANIK...**  
Sonic finally gets a break from his harddoings, but not before some laser from God-knows-where ruins Tails' skateboarding trick by turning him into a Burger King(r) product. Sonic goes out to investigate, but not before running into Nicky and Milo of Pepper Ann fame for no reason than to confuse people. Also Julie Powers is in it.  
 **AND THEY'RE OFF!**

Now, if anything, anyone envisioning this will probably know that this "disguise" isn't hard to fool. They're not even

"Nice cosplay" complimented Nicky to Julie. "Thanks, it's Macy's brand" she said back.

"Speaking of which, who are you weird cosplayers?" asked Milo.  
"I'm Julie Powers, and he's Neurotic."  
"That's **SONIC!** "  
"Oh, very we-wait, you're Sonic?! O-M-G!" replied Nicky. "I used to play your games when I was just 12! Can I have your autograph?"  
"Sure" replied the omnipotent porcupine.

 **ANYWAYS...**  
"So what are we doing here anyways?" asked Milo to Julie, whilst Sonic was looking through the trash bin.  
"Don't know, don't care" replied the Daria-with-a-ponytail-and-less-omnipotence.  
"Another question... who would throw out such a way PAST cool Walkman?" said Sonic. "I think it still works... just gotta find a batter- **GAK!** "  
 _(for those of you who didn't read Chapter 1, Sonic ate an Energizer battery infused chili dog. What we didn't say is that he topped it off with a D-cell Energizer.)_  
So, Nicky reached down Sonic's throat for the battery (which is in his stomach) and actually took it.  
Surprise! The Walkman works! (and it only plays high quality rips.)  
Add in an ol' also-thrown-out leather jacket, and now Sonic looks... pretty good I guess.

 **MUCH EXPLAINING LATER...**

"...So, what do we even do to find a criminal that turns people into Burgers or some stuff?" asked Milo.  
"Always Follow your NOSE!" said Toucan Sam who suddenly appeared in this comic.  
And then he snorted up a large amount of a blend of crack cocaine and Froot Loops, and spun around for a while...

and then he died.

Because drugs are bad for birds. and humans too.  
"Well, let's do what the toucan says!" said Sonic, not caring one tiny bit about the bird.  
"Shouldn't we stay and-?"  
"No."

you know the drill, NEXT CHAPTER


	3. Chapper 3:

**So**.

Last time, Toucan Sam died, and two humans and their pet mutants were advised by him to follow their nose, I guess.

 **CONT.**

As the four protagonists were wandering around together, Sonic sensed a scent that scented scent... cent.

"Huh, smells like chili dogs and broke motor vehicles." quipped Sonic. "And no wonder! That bird led us to a raceway mall."

"Why would a bird lead us to a raceway mall in the first place?" asked Not Sonic.  
"Don't ask questions, focus on the subject at hand." replied Sonic, with obviousness.

So, they went into the mall, where they end up finding... The Log Lady fighting a biologist with super martial arts. and her log is The Cheat in a log costume

...yeah.

But wait, LOOK! it's Kim Pine from Scott Pilgrim, sitting on a couch in the charging area! (That oughta get your attention, right?)

"Oh, hey there Kim! How's it hangin?" said Julie, presumably ignorant to the other 3 characters.

"Ehh, nothin' really, other than getting a job at the local Chuck E Cheese's in Coolsville, and having said place wrecked by retards with no spine, I'd say I'm fine." replied Kim.  
"Dude, Coolsville sucks." snarked Julie back. "Eh, at least I get paid." said Kim, blandly.

"Hey, enough about your daily life," said Sonic. "What abouuuAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

Suddenly, the table he was leaning on started acting like a wild horse, armed and/or dangerous. It dragged Sonic 'round the block, and then launched him into the ceiling.  
It hurt. a lot.


End file.
